Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The Patience of our Father

So, what is this? Well, I've decided to start a gratitude journal or, as I want to call it, my Tender Mercies Log. I've kind-of resisted starting a blog because I don't think I'm very entertaining and I like to read blogs when they are funny. But funny so often means negative and cynical to me and that's not the way I want to look at my life anymore. I want to be more positive and more aware of the Lord's hand in my life. Every good gift I have comes from him, and I feel keenly the need to record those good gifts. And maybe when you read this, you will be more aware of the hand of God in your life. It's a form of worship, I think, to remember and be thankful. In church on Sunday our high councilors spoke about Henry B. Eyering's talk "O Remember, Remember" from the October 2007 general conference. I do remember being very impressed by it and each time I am reminded of it, I feel very strongly that I need to write in my journal. Well, now I have set aside a specific time of day to write about the things the Lord has done for me. And that's all I'm going to write about because there is no need to gripe about any misfortunes I might have.

So the first thing I am grateful for is Heavenly Father's knowledge of my human failings and the constant gentle reminders he gives me. The Lord truly does stand at the door knocking and waits for us to let Him into our lives. He isn't just standing out there, though. He knocks again and again for those of us who want to let Him in but just forget He's out there. I am so grateful for that gentle tapping of the Holy Ghost. I have often noticed in my life that in a short period of time, the same principle of the gospel will be presented reiterated again and again until I pick up on it. Heavenly Father is seeking to bless me by giving me His gentle commandments and He does not give up the first time I brush them aside. I do think that writing more consistently in a journal is very important. I have never found it to be particularly therapeutic and don't know if there are exciting stories in my life that beg to be recorded, which is why I have so often petered out on consistent record-keeping. But I do know that the Lord's hand is in my life every day and that a record of those dealings, blessings, and promises would be of great value to me and to my posterity. So I am very grateful that God has reminded me of this over and over until it stuck. Or at least, I hope it's at the sticking point, now. But I just wanted to record that these gentle prods of the Spirit are a tender mercy of the Lord.

Just one more thing. My whole evening yesterday was another blessing from God, mostly because of the time I was able to spend with my kind husband and little Soren. I don't know how to describe those evenings that fill me up with joy and make it obvious to me why God's greatest gift to us would be eternal life, or an eternal family with limitless posterity. Sometimes I think of them as domestic tranquility but it's a much more powerful feeling than that. To see my husband smiling and playing or singing with our son is one of the greatest joys I've ever known. I know that the depth of my happiness comes from our eternal marriage and the sure knowledge I have of the divine nature and potential of our family. I am grateful for that knowledge and for the reality of its blessings in my life today.

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