Tuesday, August 2, 2016


Callings are tender mercies from the Lord.

I feel like an epic failure in my calling.  I teach the youth sunday school class, which is so rambunctious and disrespectful that ... well, let's just say they make me want to fall on the floor like a toddler and throw a tantrum.  Which is almost what I did on Sunday.  Bad move, Carolyn.  Bad move.

Now I haven't wanted to ask for help.  I thought I could just love these little punks into some respect.  And I do love them, so we have a pretty good relationship outside of the classroom.  Who am I kidding?  They think we have a good relationship in the classroom.  They think that I enjoy playing keep away with their gizmos and having them interrupt my attempts to teach.  So I have stood up there week after week for a year and allowed them to ignore me, throw things at me, and complain about the things they do for me.  And all of a sudden I say, "No.  More."

I am not going to ask for a release.  I have learned too much about what doesn't work to give up now.  No, instead I am going to ask for help.  God's help, the bishop's help, their parents' help, I am going to get all the help I can.  And I will learn how to be a better teacher.  I will learn to lead.

I realize that they may never change.  Maybe that's not why I'm in this calling.  Maybe I am here so that I can change.  Be better, stronger.  Since that's what I want, I am so grateful for this calling.  I can't imagine one that would have challenged and stretched me quite this much.

I am going to get back up.  I am going to throw them out of my class--to "suspend" them so to speak--and send them to time out / the principal's office.  I recognize that, to a large degree, their bad behavior has been reinforced by my unwillingness to confront them.  But I can no longer hold back from this conflict.  It is mine and I am woman enough to not back down.

Friday, January 1, 2016


Today my eldest son was baptized.  Today he made a promise to follow the Savior and be a witness for His name.  I know that if he keeps that promise, he will find joy and peace.

He was also confirmed today.  God made a promise to give His Spirit to my boy.  That Spirit will guide, comfort, and sanctify him.  I know that God's promises are sure and that Soren will always have help available to him.

If Soren has eyes to see and ears to hear, then God's tender mercies will pour out on him as a result of these promises.  And as a mother, there is nothing I want more.  So I glory today in God's love and mercy!  He has made a covenant with my son and will stand by him always.

Praise be to God for His promises are sure!